Monday, January 30, 2017

Taking Care of Yourself = Personal Responsibility

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

What does that mean?

To me it means I do not expect other people to “make” my life happy, fulfilled or whatever word you want to use.



I am responsible for my happiness, for my achievements, for how I respond to life events over which I have no control.

If you aren’t aware of the following books, read them and you’ll see what I mean.

Denis Waitley            “The Winners Edge”
                                   “The Seeds of Greatness”

Viktor E. Frankl          “Man’s Search for Meaning”

Deepak Chopra        “Quantum Healing”
                                 “Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting The Soul”

Daniel Amen              “Magnificent Mind at Any Age”

William Glasser         “Take Charge of Your Life”
                                  “Choice Theory”

And, if you’d like to explore these ideas in a fiction format, you’ll find these concepts as a foundation in my Sacred Women’s Circle series.

If you sign up for Connections, my newsletter, you’ll get the first book in the series, Lily, free. 

And Elizabeth, Book Two is available through January 31, 2017 for $.99.

Questions, comments? Please share! I love engaging with you!!!



You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.


Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

I’m also on Facebook


© 2017 Judith Ashley

Monday, January 23, 2017

Taking Care of Yourself = Thinking Positive

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

 Every cloud has a silver lining.

There is a gift for us in every part of our lives.

I learned so much about myself in my short marriage. I learned how important words are to me and I also learned the language of action. You know the adage, actions speak louder than words? Well, I finally realized, a little too late as we were already divorced and he had remarried, that his actions had “told” me he loved me.

To help me stay in a positive frame of mind, I do look at things in a certain way. Here are the ones that work best for me.

 I do not consider that I’ve failed. Instead I frame it as I accomplish xx% of my goal.

Everything that happens as a gift for me. So when my brain was completely scrambled after an automobile accident, it wasn’t easy for me to find the gift but I did. I treated myself differently. I no longer had long lists of expectations. I was more realistic about what I could do. I focused on being safe and happy. My awareness of what I enjoyed was heightened. Before I found the right therapy, I’d built a cozy contented life for myself. It was limited in many, many ways but I was happy. 

I use the principles of Dr. William Glasser’s Choice Theory and Reality Therapy as cornerstones for my life. I teach classes on these core principles. Check them out on my website. And, I’ll be presenting the “Balancing Your Writing Life and Your Real Life” at the Desert Dreams Writers Conference, June 1 – 4, 2017 in Scottsdale, AZ.

And I have a core cadre of friends I can talk to when I need extra support and encouragement as well as reminders of the above.

How do you keep yourself in a positive frame of mind?


Through January 31, 2017 you can purchase Book 2 in The Sacred Women's Circle series, Elizabeth, for $.99!

Sign up for Connections, my newsletter and you'll receive Book 1, Lily, for free!



Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.


Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

I’m also on Facebook

© 2017 Judith Ashley

Monday, January 16, 2017

Taking Care of Yourself = Letting Go

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

I did say in the first post on Taking Care of Yourself to focus on what went well in 2016 and I meant that then. However, what I also know to be true is that we can drag along those events, items, relationships, etc. that didn’t go as we wanted.

So this Monday let’s focus on “Taking Care of Yourself = Letting Go”.

A couple of questions:

Do you find yourself thinking about something or someone that “got away”? You know, the idea you didn’t follow through with. The relationship that sputtered out and died. The 2016 goals you set that you didn’t achieve and that you regret.

In my tradition, we have a variety of ways to “let go” of things that no longer serve us.

One of my favorites is the “Death Arrow”. Find a stick or use a wooden dowel. Take a piece of paper and write on it those feelings, ideas, etc. you want to release. Take some red yarn or string and tie the folded paper to the stick. And then burn it. Watch it burn and as the flames destroy the paper and stick, know that you’ve let go.

Don’t have a fireplace, use a BBQ grill. Don’t have that, use a tin can or a container filled with sand. If you do this outside, just be careful that you do not have flammables nearby. I’ve seen flames burst forth and shoot high with some Death Arrows. I’ve also seen some take For Ever to burn. My first one was the latter. I thought it would never finish burning…but I’d put some heavy stuff on that paper so upon reflection, it made sense to me.

Another method is to write things out or maybe draw pictures, take out appropriate photographs, cut out pictures from magazines, create a collage of words and graphics and then destroy it. Fire is really the best way to do this but you can slice it into ribbons and put it in the trash. If you choose the trash, I’d make sure the pieces are scattered. Maybe put bits and pieces out at two different times or if it feels right, ask a friend or neighbor to take part of the confetti-paper and get rid of it.

Still another option, especially if what you want to let go of is all about you, is to write a letter to yourself explaining why it is important to Let Go of whatever you are holding on to. Go the whole distance and mail it to yourself. (No emails here. Writing it out by hand is an important part of the process).

If you want to share, please do. But, it may be uncomfortable to do so depending on how personal “Letting Go” is for you.

PS: If you meditate or have other mindful practices, you may get good results by focusing a session or two on “Letting Go”.

Whatever works!


You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.


Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

I’m also on Facebook


© 2017 Judith Ashley

Monday, January 9, 2017

Taking Care of Yourself - Your 2017 Word

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

“What is Your 2017 Word?”

Several people I know pick a word to focus on as a theme for themselves for the year. My best friend has done that for years. A blog post I read the morning I wrote these posts, also mentioned it.

My suggestion is to spend quiet time and sort through words that evoke a positive sense of well-being or an eager challenge.

Some ideas are “love” “loyal” “caring” “kind” “compassion” “finish” “complete” “friendship” “honest” “charitable”

I’ll go first! “DO”

In Star Wars, Yoda tells a young Luke Skywalker that there is no Try, only Do. What this means to me is not so much about “doing” but to be clear. Stop and make a conscious or mindful decision. Is this the direction I want to go? Is this an activity I want to participate in? Make a decision and then Do. For me this mean to stop dithering or nattering.

Stop, Decide, Do.

How will your life be different if every day, when you first woke up, you recalled your 2017 word?

Please share!!!

You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.


Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

I’m also on Facebook


© 2017 Judith Ashley

Monday, January 2, 2017

Taking Care of Yourself in 2017!!!

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

I don’t know about you, but I do better when I have a theme or focus for myself when I write blog posts. If you read my December posts (you can just scroll down), you’ll see that all my Monday posts were about Peace. And they are updated from my January 2016 posts which were also on Peace.

This January I decided on the theme of “Taking Care of Yourself”.

On this second day of the New Year my question is “What Went Well in 2016?” or “What Happened in 2016 that you most pleased with/proud of?”

Notice I’m only asking you to find something that worked out well. If your life went along like mine, you had some downturns but somewhere during those 365 days, things did go right.

My 2016 list includes

1.      Finishing the last two books in the Original Sacred Women’s Circle series. They are available in e-books and soon will be available in print.

2.      Learning programs that help me connect with readers: ConvertKit, Book Funnel, WeebleyPro, etc.

3.      Taking care of myself physically (no flour, no obvious sugar eating plan), mentally (stop whatever I’m doing when negatively stressed), emotionally (start and end my day in gratitude for what I have and what has happened).

My list is longer but this gives you an idea. Be sure to add something specific about your accomplishment. For example: for taking care of myself physically, I added two specific actions.

Also note that I do not include what went wrong, what I didn’t accomplish, where I fell short. 

While we may bamboozle ourselves by saying we do better when we criticize or chastise or even punish ourselves when we are not successful, I know from personal experience that moving to the “positive” works better. It is a little (or a lot) uncomfortable at first but it can be done.

I’ll be back next Monday with another question for you about “Taking Care of Yourself”.


You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

 Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

 I’m also on Facebook

 © 2017 Judith Ashley