Forgiveness and Peace in Our World

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

“Unconditional acceptance is a piece of the foundation of unconditional love.”

What would your world, your life be like if you were unconditionally accepted, unconditionally supported and unconditionally loved?

I do have people in my life who unconditionally accept, support and love me. (I've included pictures of a few of them). And, like most of us, I have people in my life who do not. 

Gimi, Lois and Connie unconditionally support me

If you aren’t sure if you do or not, think about the people you look forward to seeing, who, when you are with them or think about them, you feel more energy and optimism. These would be the people with whom you have the most positive relationships.

Lois, Diane and Rosemary. Long time supporters

As I already confessed, I do have people in my life who seem to suck the life and energy right out of me. If I don’t dread seeing them, I’m exhausted by the time I get home.

They are people who see the world around them as a dangerous, negative, fearful place. People are not to be trusted. Everyone is out to get them or at the least out to get what they can which leaves less for them.

Authors Diana McCollum and Sarah Raplee

Anger and fear are energy drains on the one hand and energy surges (without the protector) on the other. Anger and fear pull us into a negative spiral and they negatively impact our health. Being in a constant state of fight/flight/stress wears our bodies out.

So where does forgiveness come in?

Here are two axioms I find true for me:

1.      The only person’s behavior I can control is my own. That doesn’t mean I can’t hold a gun to someone’s head or beat them into submission but the consequences of those choices do not appeal to me on many levels. (And the reality is there are people who willingly die rather than submit – think suicide bombers).

Play write and friend Robin Kramme

2.      All behavior is purposeful. That does mean just that. Everything we do has a purpose. There is something we want to have happen or we wouldn’t be doing anything. And even when we say we are doing nothing, there is a purpose behind that.

Forgiveness is about taking care of ourselves.

Forgiveness is about taking responsibility for our own health and well-being.

Forgiveness is about our own healing and moving forward with our lives.

Forgiveness is not about condoning or approving of the action of the other person/people.

Forgiveness is about our understanding they are in a painfully negatively state of mind and rather than take responsibility for, take charge of, and take care of themselves, they lash out and blame others for what is lacking in their own lives.

In each of the Sacred Women Circle stories the heroines come face-to-face with the issues of both trust and forgiveness. They each face a dark time, they each have doubts about themselves and their futures.

However, they each have unconditional acceptance, support and love within their sacred women’s circle. With that support they are able to find forgiveness and trust and unconditional love with their hero. After all, I do write romance so you know every story ends with a “happily-ever-after”.

Your free copy of Book One: Lily: The Dragon and The Great Horned Owl is waiting for you.

Go to JudithAshleyRomance.com and sign up for my occasional newsletter “Connections.” Follow the prompts to download your own digital copy of the first book in The Sacred Women’s Circle series.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

Hummingbirds, Cats and Peace in Our World - Part 2

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

Back to the hummers and the cat.

If I want peace, I must give up “revenge” as in ranting on social media about cat owners who do not bell their cats, putting repellents out to ward them off, dashing out the door yelling at the cat when I see it in my yard, etc.

My other option is to make my yard a wasteland: no flowers, no plants, nothing that might attract hummers or other birds.

But to do that I take away an important piece of my own joy. Inspiration comes to me when I look out at the flowers, see the bees, butterflies and birds. 

And as to forgiveness. What is the point of being angry at a cat for being a, well, being a cat?

You may have already surmised my decision. Flowers, my dwarf larch, ferns, columbine, lupine: plants, trees and flowers growing in my yard are points of inspiration (I can see it all from my office). I also remind myself we are all here on our own journey, even the birds and cat. And I will confess I do send energy into my yard for the safety of birds who come to visit me. This year I’ve no evidence that isn’t working.

My questions to you today are:

What do you need to do to forgive yourself for all those things you blame, guilt, criticize, punish yourself for?

What do you need to do to forgive other people who have “done something” to you?

Before you say it can’t be done, I’d want to remind you of the Amish families who forgave the man who burst into the school and killed their children.

And, more recently? The people who survived the shootings in Charleston, North Carolina and the families of those who didn’t forgave the young man who’d joined their prayer service before opening fire.

Join me next Monday when I’ll share why forgiveness is critical to our own lives and happiness.

Your free copy of Lily: The Dragon and The Great Horned Owl is waiting for you.

Go to JudithAshleyRomance.com and sign up for my occasional newsletter “Connections.” Follow the prompts to download your own digital copy of the first book in The Sacred Women’s Circle series.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

Hummingbirds, Cats and Peace in Our World

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

One of the wonders I look for in my yard are hummingbirds sipping from the salvia. Something else I also see is a cat stalking through my yard focused on these same hummingbirds. While I also focus on these tiny bundles of energy when I spot them, I wish them no harm.

I’ve seen cats (more than one comes into my yard) pounce on birds, including the hummers.

Salvia blossoms

You may be asking yourself “what do these thoughts and observations have to do with writing blog posts?”

Here’s my answer:

Labor Day Weekend I attended one of this year’s Women of the 14^th Moon Gatherings. I was talking with a couple of women about unconditional acceptance and why that is important if we want to experience unconditional love.

Our conversation included my telling about an experience I had doing a workshop in Slovenia on “Peace In Our World” right after the Balkan War in the mid-1990’s. My premise: Peace requires that we choose to live a peaceful life and to do that we must give up revenge. I will add that my premise was not accepted by many in the workshop. Of course people in attendance had experiences, witnessed or heard first-hand accounts of atrocities so their point of view wasn’t unexpected.

When Lynn talked about forgiveness, a brilliant light of “Aha” shone forth. I had not talked to the group in Slovenia about forgiveness and why it serves us more than the one(s) we forgive.

What I know now is:

We cannot give up revenge for those wrongs done to us until we can forgive.

We cannot have peace in our own lives until we forgive ourselves.

We cannot unconditionally accept others until we can unconditionally accept ourselves.

I’ll talk more next Monday about how these ideas fit into the story about the hummers and the cats. Hope you’ll come back and continue the dialogue with me.

Your free copy of Lily: The Dragon and The Great Horned Owl is waiting for you.

Go to JudithAshleyRomance.com and sign up for my occasional newsletter “Connections.” Follow the prompts to download your own digital copy of the first book in The Sacred Women’s Circle series.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Pressauthor page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

Spent most of the weekend at this year's Women of the 14th Moon Gathering. It was an inspiring experience. Will be writing about this coming week and will share with you next Monday. Enjoy the holiday!

Your free copy of Lily: The Your free copy of Lily: The Dragon and The Great Horned Owl is waiting for you! 

Go to JudithAshleyRomance.com and sign up for my occasional newsletter “Connections.” Follow the prompts to download your own digital copy of the first book in The Sacred Women’s Circle series.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!