Lessons From The Olympics

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

The opening ceremony was Magical! Amazing! One part had 1200 drones flying in formations! And then there was the drumming, dancing, music and the use of lasers or whatever it was that made fantastical shapes. I started “watching” playing Mahjong on my tablet but soon had it put aside to really watch.

Another highlight for me was watching both North and South Korea athletes walk in together under one flag. I was struck with the core values of The Olympics being played out before me.

Seeing the athletes compete at that level and at the end congratulate each other. Seeing the excitement of just being there, of doing their best, of representing their country. Seeing the athletes interacting with others who have the same passion and commitment for the sport as they do.

I found myself looking forward to the hours I spent watching the popular (ice skating, half-pipe, hockey and the less popular sports like the biathlon, speed skating, short track. And then there was the emerging interest in curling!

While I enjoyed and at times marveled at the performances of the athletes, I also paid attention to what I could learn from people who’d dedicated so much to reaching this level of accomplishment.

Here are some of the lessons I learned from The Olympics:

Set your goal.

Believe you can achieve it.

Do the work.

Have fun doing it!!! So many of the athletes talked about the joy of participating in The Olympics and in their sport.

I see that joy every day in my chapter’s on-line forum, #ftb (finish the book) as we encourage and support each other to reach our goal.

Another comparison between authors and athletes is we both have to actively participate in the process.

Authors, to belong to Romance Writers of America (RWA), must be actively pursuing publication. Some writers enter contests like Rose City Romance Writers’ Golden Rose. These contests would be similar to the athletes entering various competitions at different levels of achievement.

Authors also need to have finished a book before they can enter RWA’s Golden Heart or Rita contest.

Olympic athletes have participated in numerous local, state, regional, national and world competitions before reaching the Olympics.

But whether an athlete or an author, it starts with setting our goal.

If you watched The Olympics, what did you learn that you can apply to your life? And if you didn't, what did you experience that became one of your "life lessons?"

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

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© 2018 Judith Ashley

Thoughts of Friendships New and Old - Part Three

By Judith Ashley

The words "friend" and "friendships" bring specific 'pictures' to mind. When I think of the word "friend", my list is short in that there are not hundreds of people on it. I tend to separate that general category into more specific ones: acquaintances, colleagues, friends, best friends.

One reason this is important for me is that I have personal expectations for myself and the people in each category.

Acquaintance: someone I know either in person or in cyber-land. This person is not a colleague but also not really a friend. I engage with this person but do not on an 'in depth' level. We may enjoy talking about books we've read, flowers we like to grow, favorite foods/restaurants, etc. But while in some ways this is personal information, it is more superficial. There are people in my neighborhood I see as 'acquaintances'. I know who they are. We wave or even stop to chat about their garden or a neighborhood event when I'm out on my walk.

Colleague: someone with whom I have a special interest connection. They may be a member of one of the Romance Writers of America chapters to which I belong, or another author who does not write romance. Perhaps I know this person through my long association with The William Glasser Institute or my past employment with The State of Oregon or Multnomah County.

Friends: Obviously this is someone I know however they've moved from the acquaintance or colleague category to 'friend'. Why? Our relationship is broader based. We spend social time together. We talk about world events as well as topics near and dear to our hearts. We listen and problem solve when life's challenges appear. We support each other's life journey through encouraging words and celebrating successes.

My friend, Lois

Best Friends: Considering the number of people I know, I've very few people in my life at this level. We share our journeys through life by being with each other in the good and the bad times. We know many of the intimate details of each other's lives. We're attuned to our friend's energy (or lack of it). We'll put our own needs aside in order to support each other.

It may seem strange to some to separate people I know into different levels of engagement but it works for me. The main reason is works is because I have a set of expectations for myself as the other part of the relationship.

I'm friendly and present when engaging with an acquaintance. 

I'm friendly and present when engaging with a colleague but beyond that, I'm open to sharing information, resources, etc. In other words, when appropriate, supporting them 'up the ladder'.

With friends, I expect myself to still be friendly and present when engaging with them. I also expect that I'll share more of my feelings/emotions about things. Perhaps adding some past experiences that color where I'm at these days. I'll offer to help this person by listening, calling to check in, or whatever they need when life is challenging. I'll also show up with chocolate, a gift, or a song (at least in my heart) when things are going well. If a friend needs me, I'll make an effort to be there.

A best friend is all of the above and more. I pay closer attention to my best friends. If they ask, I will rearrange things in my own life so I can show up. I make the calls without being asked. I listen with a heightened intensity to the words and what's behind the words. I look for ways to be supportive. And, I have a higher level of expectation for people who are my best friends. They are loyal. I trust them implicitly. They are honest - even telling me things I'd rather not hear but most likely need to.

What I've learned about myself and this categorizing of relationships is that I have certain standards for myself that impact how I feel when I don't meet them. And, my meeting my own standards is more important than my friends and best friends meeting them. After all, how can I expect them to meet a standard I've set that they don't even know about?

Am I alone in this? Do you categorize or "see" the people in your life differently depending on the relationship?

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nourish the soul. Hunter the fifth book in the series is due out this summer. You can learn more about Judith's books at Windtree Press.