Intend Kindness

Like many people this past week, I watched coverage of Pope Francis’s visit to the United States. What I was particularly struck with was the Pope’s consistent message both in words and actions of inclusion and kindness.

This post is going to be very short because the message is very simple.

When you read this, set an intention to treat everyone you meet with kindness.

This post is going to be very short because the message is very simple.

When you read this, set an intention to treat everyone you meet with kindness.

Be mindful of your thoughts.

Be mindful of your words.

Be mindful of your actions.

I’m not saying being kind to everyone in thoughts, words, and deeds will be easy but give it a try.

See how it changes your world and the world of those around you.

And, if you want to challenge yourself make the commitment to treat everyone with kindness for a week. I’m going for the week because I have several days in a row when I’ll be writing and therefore not out and about.

I’d love to know how this challenge worked for you.

What was easiest?

What was hardest?

My final question is: How would your life and the world be different if treating everyone we meet with kindness was practiced by everyone?

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

She is also on the Senior Teaching Faculty for TheWilliam Glasser Institute International.

Follow Judith on Twitter @JudithAshley19

Learn more about Judith’s books here.

Judith is on Facebook here.

Take Charge of Your Own Happiness

We are less than twenty days from an event that has the potential to be life changing.

October 10, 2015 is the Second Annual Mental Health and Happiness Summit. The Summit is hosted by Mental Health and Happiness, a subsidiary of The William Glasser Institute.

If you've followed this blog, you know I've been involved with Dr. William Glasser since 1978, have served locally, regionally and on the international board of directors. Currently I am on the senior teaching faculty of WGI-International.

In Jim Roy's biography of Dr. Glasser, Champion of Choice, the growth of Dr. Glasser's ideas from inception to his death in 2013 are described. Dr. Glasser believed there is a high correlation between being happy and mentally healthy.

Dr. Nancy Buck, Kim Olver and others in the WGI organization put together both the Mental Health and Happiness website but also The Summit.

I invite you to click on the links and find out more!

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

Because she's been involved with The Institute for over thirty-seven years, you'll find several of Dr. Glasser's core concepts incorporated into the stories. Judith also offers trainings leading to certification in Dr. Glasser's Reality Therapy and Choice Theory and is available for shorter presentations and workshops. For more information click here.

Follow Judith on Twitter: JudithAshley19

Bring Back Snail Mail

If you’re like me, the path from the mail box to the recycling bin is well-worn. Sometimes I don’t even bring the mail in for a day or two. Why?

Advertisements for one.

Magazines that come with memberships another.

Flyers and notices about events and opportunities in which I’ve no interest.

However, within the last two months, I’ve had a couple of surprises – surprises that had me smiling.

Why?

I had actual mail. Small envelopes with handwritten notes inside.

Reading them, reminded me of my trip to Ohio in May. On my friend’s desk were two handwritten notes from me. The notes were written on cards with spectacular pictures of the Pacific Ocean, a place that is dear to her heart.

Spend the money and buy a real stamp – it does make a difference. (I have a roll of stamps with hearts on them which is appropriate for a writer of romance!)

Bring a smile to someone’s face and a measure of joy to someone’s day. In this age of emails and text messages, the fact that you took the time to actually pick up a card, write a note, address the envelop and put a stamp on it makes your message even more potent.

Judith Ashley writes romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nourish the soul. The author of The Sacred Women’s Circle novels, Judith also has short stories in 3 Anthologies.

Judith’s website

Judith’s author page at Windtree Press

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Friend Judith on FB: http://on.fb.me/1UPFonE

Language + Words = Communication and ...

Can Lead To Happiness! By Judith Ashley

Last week I asked you to think about three words

Joy

Happiness

Pleasure

Specifically I asked you to think about what is similar and what is different about them.

If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you’ve seen me refer to The William Glasser Institute and Dr. William Glasser, founder of Choice Theory, an explanation of how and why we behave.

Glasser defines Happiness as our feeling good because of the choices we are making, specifically choices that get us or keep us involved with the people who are most important to us. 

He defines Pleasure as often associated with addictions (drugs, alcohol, gambling, casual sex, food or whatever we choose to do that numbs us from the pain in our lives). For short periods of time we feel better and often experience a heightened sense of pleasure that feels better than happiness.

Judith and Special People

However, happiness which has several layers, can be maintained without external drugs, etc.

One layer is our connection to other people. Caring, committed relationships with people who are important to us is a key foundation.

Being satisfied with who we want to be and having self-respect that comes from recognizing our power of choice and or continual learning from those choices.

Diana McCollum, Judith, Sarah Raplee

One thing that is important when pursuing happiness is that those feel good feelings can lead us to an unhappy place. The danger is putting all of our ‘happiness eggs’ in one basket. 

For example: that drink after work or before bed can lead to alcoholism. Or, rewarding ourselves with a shopping spree or favorite foods can lead to compulsive behaviors. If we derive much of our self-respect from our work the danger is becoming a work-a-holic.

Without vigilance, we can become addicted to the behavior that ‘feels good’  let other aspects of our lives, mainly our relationships, fall by the wayside.

Taking control of your own happiness takes work but it can be done.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to listen to your words.

How often do you say something like “S/he made me feel __________?” or

“That made me feel ______________?”

When you make those statements to yourself or out loud, you are saying the people around you are in control of your happiness. If that is true and you do not see that it is up to you to create your own happiness, you are at the mercy of the world around you.

It takes work. Sometimes more than you may want to put into it. But a great resource is the Mental Health and Happiness blog. You can check it out here.

Consider one of their 21 Day Challenges to show you ways to create the happier life you envision for yourself.

Next week I’ll be back with more of my own tips on how to brighten your day.

Check out Judith’s website here.

Check out Judith’s author page here.

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19 

Language = words = ?

Welcome!

As I've dealt with technical challenges I've been reminded of the importance of language. Was I irritated, frustrated, angry, mad? or just out of my comfort zone with the new challenge? Or, perhaps I was actually feeling incompetent because I couldn't fix the problem by myself?

However, when I first thought of this post it wasn't about those negative feelings~no quite the opposite.

We use words but all too often we use words that actually have different meanings interchangeably.

Since this is a Very Short post today, I'm only asking you to think about these three words and what they actually mean when you use them.

Joy

Happiness

Pleasure

What's similar about them but more to the point, what is different?

I'll be back next Monday to share my thoughts.

Judith is the author of romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

You can follow Judith on Twitter: JudithAshley19

She is also on Facebook and Google+.

Check out her author profile at Windtree Press.

Graphics will appear again next week!

Untether Yourself!

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honor spiritual traditions that nourish the soul.

Does the idea of detaching yourself from technology create shivers of horror screaming down your spine or erupting from your mouth? Even if your reaction isn’t that extreme, if you feel even a slight sense of unease, I encourage you to read further.

You don’t need to be disconnected forever! Start with an hour and if that is too much, try fifteen minutes. Leave your phone, computer, tablet, smart watch—whatever it is that ties you to technology, that connection to other people that is missing something and see what happens.

Take a walk.

Talk to a co-worker or family member. Remember tolisten.

Stop at a local eatery for a bite to eat and talk to the waitperson. Don’t forget to smile.

Be aware of what’s going on around you.

Is there a person struggling to open a door with an armload of packages?

Is there beauty in the flowers of a neighbor’s yard?

Is there someone whose day would be better if you smiled or offered a compliment or said something else positive?

Is there an opportunity to provide an unexpected gift to a strangers or someone you know?

A couple of years ago I spent my birthday with no computer, telephone on and watched very little television. I read, reflected and took stock of where I was in my life and where I wanted to go.

This past May I took my email accounts off my phone.

Just this Friday, I spent over ten hours without a minute on my computer.

Personally, I’m finding being untethered very freeing and very stress reducing.

I’m only suggesting you consider it.

And, if stepping away is too scary. Start small. Turn your phone off at night or leave it in another part of the house.

Believe me. If you were really needed because of an emergency, the police would be knocking on your door.

Judith blogs the first Friday on the month at Romancing The Genres.

Follow Judith on Twitter @JudithAshley19

Find Judith on Facebook 
https://www.facebook.com/1JudithAshleyRomance1

Check out Judith’s author page at Windtree Press. 

Hunter the fifth book in The Sacred Women’s Circle series is now available through Windtree Press and other outlets.

Judith, as a member of The William Glasser Institute's senior teaching faculty, offers Intensive Training leading to Certification in Dr. Glasser's ideas and other workshops and presentations on Creating The World You Want For Yourself.

Relax On The Road

The big news where I live is that our roads are at capacity and four hundred thousand more people are expected to move here in the next four years and there’s no money for more roads! This news is the backdrop for this weeks post.

Although I no longer put 20K miles on my car each year, I still drive. This last winter another drive cut me off because I wasn’t tail gating the car in front of me.

“Stupid jerk!” “You could have killed me!” I yelled as I braked to keep from rear-ending that car.

This was not the first time I'd yelled at another driver, but it was one of the last. For some reason, I heard myself in a different way this time and realized that the energy I was expending was hurting me. As the other driver went on his way, I didn't really feel better although that spurt of fear had dissipated.

In the ‘90’s during the Balkan War I created a workshop “How To Bring Peace To Our World”. A workshop with only one simple premise. If you want peace in your world, you need to practice peace regardless of what is going on around you. I reminded myself of that workshop. I still believed in the premise even though in that a moment I wasn’t practicing it.

So I’ve changed.

I bought a reminder. Named her “Silver” and usually she is hanging from my passenger visor when I drive. (Right now our temperatures are so high, I know my car’s interior gets to over 100 degrees so she sits near my front door and reminds me of my promise to myself as I go out to my car).

What does she remind me about?

My yelling comes from my fear and it does not serve me Also, I’ve no idea what is happening in that other driver’s life. Is she rushing to work worried about being fired for being late? Is he rushing home because an emergency? Or it could be nothing like these examples. It could be the driver is just frustrated with his or her life and taking it out while driving. Maybe here, in the fast car or big truck or alone this is the way the driver feels in control or works off disappointment with other parts of life.

That day I realized it really makes no difference what's going on for the other driver. I was sending more negative energy into the world. The question I asked myself "Am I making the world, my world a better place?"

"No."

What I was doing was adding more fear, more anger, more upset, more frustrated energy to the world which was the opposite of what I wanted.

Those road-rage-type-drivers are still out there. But as they whip around me, cut in so close I’m slamming on my brakes to keep from hitting them I’m no longer yelling at them. I take a deep breath and concentrate on sending them 'safe trip energy'.

Here are a couple more tips to relax on the road:

1. Keep a safe distance between you and the cars in front of you.

2. Let other cars merge, oh just let that big semi-truck in too, at an on ramp.

3. When in the city, let a car in from a side street or parking lot.

4. When someone drives in an unsafe fashion, send them “be safe energy”.

5. Add an extra ten minutes or more to your estimated travel time. The worst that will happen is you’ll be a little early!

6. If possible schedule appointments and errands at non-rush hour times. If that’s not possible, find some way to stay calm and in the present as you idle on the freeway. (I look for red-tailed hawks and the occasional bald eagle).

What do you do to stay relaxed on the road? I’m always interested in adding to my repertoire!

Judith is on the senior teaching faculty of The William Glasser Institute. She is also the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul. Hunter the fifth book in the series is now available at major e-retailers and here.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series here.
Check out Judith’s Windtree Press Author Page. 
Judith also blogs on the first Friday of the month at Romancing The Genres.

Follow Judith on Twitter: judithashley19