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Monday, March 30, 2015

Habits

Last month I posted about relationships and at the end of the post listed four questions.

You can read the original post here

You can read the posts covering the first questions here.

Today I'm following up on last week's post as well as the earlier ones by taking a look at the last two questions and The Ultimate Question's Seven Deadly and Caring Habits.

3. When you look at the disconnect, what are the others attempting to get or accomplish with their behavior?

4. What are you trying to get or accomplish in those relationships where there is a disconnect?

Relationships are tricky things. We have in our mind just how we want our relationships to be and when the other person/people don't show up as "they are supposed to", we have a variety of ways to choose to interact with them. The more important it is to us for the others to behave a certain way, the more likely we are to eventually turn to one or more of the seven deadly habits

Criticizing
Blaming
Complaining
Nagging
Threatening
Punishing
Rewarding to control (bribes)

When we engage in one of more of these deadly habits, there is something we want the other person to change. In our quest to have our vision of the relationship dominate, we can ignore what the other person's vision is.

However, when we put the relationship first and work together to craft one we are both satisfied with (yes, there may be compromise involved), we are more likely to be using the seven caring habits.

Supporting
Encouraging
Listening
Accepting
Trusting
Respecting
Negotiating differences

I've yet to experience a disconnect in a relationship where I continually employ the caring habits. Case in point: Over the years I've gained a reputation for being able to work with "difficult clients". 

What do I do?

I employ the seven caring habits which also support a safe environment which is often a new experience for "difficult clients" who've been consistently coerced to change.

Want to learn more?
Check out my Glasser Concepts Training website at http://glasserconceptstraining.com or visit The William Glasser Institute website here

To learn more about my writing life here

Always remember: Your Choices Today Determine Your Tomorrow


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