Hummingbirds, Cats and Peace in Our World

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

One of the wonders I look for in my yard are hummingbirds sipping from the salvia. Something else I also see is a cat stalking through my yard focused on these same hummingbirds. While I also focus on these tiny bundles of energy when I spot them, I wish them no harm.

I’ve seen cats (more than one comes into my yard) pounce on birds, including the hummers.

Salvia blossoms

You may be asking yourself “what do these thoughts and observations have to do with writing blog posts?”

Here’s my answer:

Labor Day Weekend I attended one of this year’s Women of the 14^th Moon Gatherings. I was talking with a couple of women about unconditional acceptance and why that is important if we want to experience unconditional love.

Our conversation included my telling about an experience I had doing a workshop in Slovenia on “Peace In Our World” right after the Balkan War in the mid-1990’s. My premise: Peace requires that we choose to live a peaceful life and to do that we must give up revenge. I will add that my premise was not accepted by many in the workshop. Of course people in attendance had experiences, witnessed or heard first-hand accounts of atrocities so their point of view wasn’t unexpected.

When Lynn talked about forgiveness, a brilliant light of “Aha” shone forth. I had not talked to the group in Slovenia about forgiveness and why it serves us more than the one(s) we forgive.

What I know now is:

We cannot give up revenge for those wrongs done to us until we can forgive.

We cannot have peace in our own lives until we forgive ourselves.

We cannot unconditionally accept others until we can unconditionally accept ourselves.

I’ll talk more next Monday about how these ideas fit into the story about the hummers and the cats. Hope you’ll come back and continue the dialogue with me.

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Shield of Life

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

In 1994 I attended a William Glasser Conference in Dublin, Ireland. There I met colleagues from the Balkans. The Balkan War was raging and their once peaceful lives were in chaos. When asked what The William Glasser Institute could do, they said they needed support.

Funds were donated and used to purchase diapers and formula and other necessities like soap and shampoo that were in short supply.

A group of us went a step further and organized a small conference on the shores of the Adriatic Sea in Rijeka, Croatia. We paid our own way and raised additional monies to put on the conference for those who could come. In addition we volunteered to lead workshops and provide whatever counseling services were needed. Our group was received by the Mayor of Rijeka, one of our members was interviewed on a national radio program. A highlight was the evening the government minister for prisoners of war and torture victims spoke to us.

Shield of Life

I had a chance conversation with a professor at the local University. He invited me to speak to one of his classes. I also led a group discussion with a small group of women who’d braved Serbian fire as they drove from their homes in Dubrovnik (that had been bombed that morning) up the Dalmatian Coast to the conference. What an honor that was!

When Zagreb, the capitol of Croatia, was bombed (we were about 50 miles away), I went to breakfast and found colleagues I’d had dinner with were missing. No one talked about where they were. They’d just vanished—called back to the war.

That morning we were also ordered to leave the country. That was difficult but knowing that our being there actually put them at more risk than if we left. We were an easy target and to kill ten US, Canadian, Irish citizens along with Croatians who were leaders in their country was tempting.

The Mayor sent his van and driver to take us across the border into Slovenia and on to Bled. Traveling through border check points where the guards were armed was an event I’ll never forget. We were in Bled for a couple of days waiting until our flights back home left.

Sitting in an airport waiting for a flight with military tanks on the runway, armed soldiers carrying automatic rifles patrolling the concourse—I’d never had any of those experiences.

When I reached my home I was compelled to do something more.

Shield of Life with added feathers

Because of that trip I’m very aware of how quickly deep and abiding relationships can form in times of trial. I still hold in my heart many of the people I met over two decades ago. I still feel an instant connection when I see any of them at conferences. One of my favorite experiences was at the Edinburgh, Scotland conference when most of the women I’d met in Croatia were there. Tears of joy, of gratitude on both sides—they’d rebuilt those lives that had been so traumatically disrupted.

This is my Circle or Shield of Life. While the flowers are silk, everything else is natural (well, actually the silk flowers are made from the spinning of silk worms). Feathers do not always survive and so I've added two feathers before taking this picture. The black feather in the upper right quadrant is one I picked up in Scotland in 2008. What's magical is that when I got home, there was the exact same feather by my driveway. In fact this might even be that feather instead of the one from Scotland!

What life altering event have you undergone?

How has it changed who you are?

What have you done to honor that experience and that transformation?

You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

Check out my Windtree Press author page.

Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

I’m also on Facebook

© 2016 Judith Ashley

Relax On The Road

The big news where I live is that our roads are at capacity and four hundred thousand more people are expected to move here in the next four years and there’s no money for more roads! This news is the backdrop for this weeks post.

Although I no longer put 20K miles on my car each year, I still drive. This last winter another drive cut me off because I wasn’t tail gating the car in front of me.

“Stupid jerk!” “You could have killed me!” I yelled as I braked to keep from rear-ending that car.

This was not the first time I'd yelled at another driver, but it was one of the last. For some reason, I heard myself in a different way this time and realized that the energy I was expending was hurting me. As the other driver went on his way, I didn't really feel better although that spurt of fear had dissipated.

In the ‘90’s during the Balkan War I created a workshop “How To Bring Peace To Our World”. A workshop with only one simple premise. If you want peace in your world, you need to practice peace regardless of what is going on around you. I reminded myself of that workshop. I still believed in the premise even though in that a moment I wasn’t practicing it.

So I’ve changed.

I bought a reminder. Named her “Silver” and usually she is hanging from my passenger visor when I drive. (Right now our temperatures are so high, I know my car’s interior gets to over 100 degrees so she sits near my front door and reminds me of my promise to myself as I go out to my car).

What does she remind me about?

My yelling comes from my fear and it does not serve me Also, I’ve no idea what is happening in that other driver’s life. Is she rushing to work worried about being fired for being late? Is he rushing home because an emergency? Or it could be nothing like these examples. It could be the driver is just frustrated with his or her life and taking it out while driving. Maybe here, in the fast car or big truck or alone this is the way the driver feels in control or works off disappointment with other parts of life.

That day I realized it really makes no difference what's going on for the other driver. I was sending more negative energy into the world. The question I asked myself "Am I making the world, my world a better place?"

"No."

What I was doing was adding more fear, more anger, more upset, more frustrated energy to the world which was the opposite of what I wanted.

Those road-rage-type-drivers are still out there. But as they whip around me, cut in so close I’m slamming on my brakes to keep from hitting them I’m no longer yelling at them. I take a deep breath and concentrate on sending them 'safe trip energy'.

Here are a couple more tips to relax on the road:

1. Keep a safe distance between you and the cars in front of you.

2. Let other cars merge, oh just let that big semi-truck in too, at an on ramp.

3. When in the city, let a car in from a side street or parking lot.

4. When someone drives in an unsafe fashion, send them “be safe energy”.

5. Add an extra ten minutes or more to your estimated travel time. The worst that will happen is you’ll be a little early!

6. If possible schedule appointments and errands at non-rush hour times. If that’s not possible, find some way to stay calm and in the present as you idle on the freeway. (I look for red-tailed hawks and the occasional bald eagle).

What do you do to stay relaxed on the road? I’m always interested in adding to my repertoire!

Judith is on the senior teaching faculty of The William Glasser Institute. She is also the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul. Hunter the fifth book in the series is now available at major e-retailers and here.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series here.
Check out Judith’s Windtree Press Author Page. 
Judith also blogs on the first Friday of the month at Romancing The Genres.

Follow Judith on Twitter: judithashley19