Can Lead To Happiness! By Judith Ashley
Last week I asked you to think about three words
Specifically I asked you to think about what is similar and what is different about them.
If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you’ve seen me refer to The William Glasser Institute and Dr. William Glasser, founder of Choice Theory, an explanation of how and why we behave.
Glasser defines Happiness as our feeling good because of the choices we are making, specifically choices that get us or keep us involved with the people who are most important to us.
He defines Pleasure as often associated with addictions (drugs, alcohol, gambling, casual sex, food or whatever we choose to do that numbs us from the pain in our lives). For short periods of time we feel better and often experience a heightened sense of pleasure that feels better than happiness.
|Judith and Special People|
However, happiness which has several layers, can be maintained without external drugs, etc.
One layer is our connection to other people. Caring, committed relationships with people who are important to us is a key foundation.
Being satisfied with who we want to be and having self-respect that comes from recognizing our power of choice and or continual learning from those choices.
|Diana McCollum, Judith, Sarah Raplee|
One thing that is important when pursuing happiness is that those feel good feelings can lead us to an unhappy place. The danger is putting all of our ‘happiness eggs’ in one basket.
For example: that drink after work or before bed can lead to alcoholism. Or, rewarding ourselves with a shopping spree or favorite foods can lead to compulsive behaviors. If we derive much of our self-respect from our work the danger is becoming a work-a-holic.
Without vigilance, we can become addicted to the behavior that ‘feels good’ let other aspects of our lives, mainly our relationships, fall by the wayside.
Taking control of your own happiness takes work but it can be done.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to listen to your words.
How often do you say something like “S/he made me feel __________?” or
“That made me feel ______________?”
When you make those statements to yourself or out loud, you are saying the people around you are in control of your happiness. If that is true and you do not see that it is up to you to create your own happiness, you are at the mercy of the world around you.
It takes work. Sometimes more than you may want to put into it. But a great resource is the Mental Health and Happiness blog. You can check it out here.
Consider one of their 21 Day Challenges to show you ways to create the happier life you envision for yourself.
Next week I’ll be back with more of my own tips on how to brighten your day.
Check out Judith’s website here.
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Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19