Practicing What I Teach Or Is It Preach?

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

Unconditional support has been the topic this month. It isn’t always easy to take care of yourself and there are times when you may decide on a short term basis (as in a few hours or maybe a day or two) to put the other person’s needs ahead of your own. But the bottom line remains: taking care of ourselves is primary if we truly want to be at our best in supporting the people we care about.

This month I’ve faced that test several times and, to be honest, have not always practiced what I “preach”. However within 24 – 36 hours I’ve reminded myself of the truth of what I teach.

When I don’t take care of myself, I really am not at my best and therefore I truly am not able to support my friend(s) in the way I most want to.

Without sleep, my energy is low and my mental acuity isn’t at its sharpest.

Without eating properly, my energy is low and my brain functioning suffers as do my reflexes.

Combine the two and my mood suffers. My ability to “go with the flow” and interject the appropriate response to difficult behavior is disruptive. At its worst I become part of the problem instead of part of the solution.

Upon reflection I can see I'm my own best advertisement for following my advice to Take Care Of Yourself First!

Next month I’ll be sharing ideas on creating a life with Unconditional Love flowing through it. In the meantime, consider as we head in to the holiday season that is usually fraught with peril (I love that phrase), what your plan is to take care of yourself.

As always please share!

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

Self-Acceptance is First

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

For this next post we’ll take a look at our own self-acceptance rating. I come from the belief that we can best help others by taking care of ourselves. This has not always been how I’ve viewed the world. But then thoughts such as this one popped up.

When you are sick with some bug, how well can you take care of someone else? If you are me, not as good as I am when I’m well.

Extrapolate that thinking and you come up with the concept that in order to be at your best in helping others, you must be your best.

I’ve made progress in this past several years. And here is a classic example:

In February 2011 when Sarah Raplee and I came up with the idea for a group blog—Romancing The Genres (Check us out!) I was a fast typist on the computer. I could write reports, emails and I had completed the first three books in the Sacred Women’s Circle series. Of the two of us, Sarah was the techie. She fearlessly clicked the “Help” button on Blogger for help. I hesitated to search on the internet for anything much less click into the vast unknown.

It's a bit blurry but this is Sarah and me at our first book signing!

Saturday night Sarah and I were on the phone talking about, if I purchase a used Mac so I can learn and put my books on Vellum, oh and there was a discussion about using the ‘macincloud’. I’d actually searched for the Vellum site and then read several responses on a site dedicated on how best to use Vellum.

Am I fearless when it comes to clicking around the world-wide web? No, I still have my moments. But, I am cautious, not terrified I’ll do something wrong and my computer will blow up. (I see some of you laughing!)

How did I shift from fear to caution and from ‘knowing’ I can’t to believing I can learn new techie things?

I changed how I saw myself.

I went from ‘conditional acceptance’ to unconditional acceptance that I am an intelligent woman and have the capacity (mental, emotional and physical) to learn new things.

Did it happen overnight? Absolutely not.

And I do consider that if I believed it could change overnight, it would or it would change more rapidly? Yes I do. I’m an unconditional-acceptance- work-in-progress.

If you believe, you can succeed

Your assignment if you wish to continue on this journey to unconditional acceptance with me is this:

Pick one aspect of yourself you’d like to see in a positive light. 

Write out in present tense what this aspect is as if it already exists. Now look at specific thoughts and actions you can take to stay on this path.

Notice mine is “I easily and effortlessly learn (present tense) new software. I could be more specific and say ‘Vellum’. I could leave it there. I can also add why. The added value to me in this project. "I easily and effortlessly learn Vellum so I am more efficient and effective in publishing my books."

You can decide if adding the value of the project is important to your moving forward on the path to unconditional acceptance. 

My action steps or plan include: seeking input from others about where to purchase a used Mac; use my Microsoft One Drive more consistently to improve my experience in using The Cloud so I can better determine which option is better for me; remind myself when (notice I’m not using ‘if’) I feel frustrated that I’m intelligent and can learn this; regroup/resume and go forth again.

Check back in next Monday for another post on Unconditional Acceptance.

Your free copy of Lily: The Dragon and The Great Horned Owl is waiting for you.

Go to JudithAshleyRomance.com and sign up for my occasional newsletter “Connections.” Follow the prompts to download your own digital copy of the first book in The Sacred Women’s Circle series.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

Taking Care of Yourself = Letting Go

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

I did say in the first post on Taking Care of Yourself to focus on what went well in 2016 and I meant that then. However, what I also know to be true is that we can drag along those events, items, relationships, etc. that didn’t go as we wanted.

So this Monday let’s focus on “Taking Care of Yourself = Letting Go”.

A couple of questions:

Do you find yourself thinking about something or someone that “got away”? You know, the idea you didn’t follow through with. The relationship that sputtered out and died. The 2016 goals you set that you didn’t achieve and that you regret.

In my tradition, we have a variety of ways to “let go” of things that no longer serve us.

One of my favorites is the “Death Arrow”. Find a stick or use a wooden dowel. Take a piece of paper and write on it those feelings, ideas, etc. you want to release. Take some red yarn or string and tie the folded paper to the stick. And then burn it. Watch it burn and as the flames destroy the paper and stick, know that you’ve let go.

Don’t have a fireplace, use a BBQ grill. Don’t have that, use a tin can or a container filled with sand. If you do this outside, just be careful that you do not have flammables nearby. I’ve seen flames burst forth and shoot high with some Death Arrows. I’ve also seen some take For Ever to burn. My first one was the latter. I thought it would never finish burning…but I’d put some heavy stuff on that paper so upon reflection, it made sense to me.

Another method is to write things out or maybe draw pictures, take out appropriate photographs, cut out pictures from magazines, create a collage of words and graphics and then destroy it. Fire is really the best way to do this but you can slice it into ribbons and put it in the trash. If you choose the trash, I’d make sure the pieces are scattered. Maybe put bits and pieces out at two different times or if it feels right, ask a friend or neighbor to take part of the confetti-paper and get rid of it.

Still another option, especially if what you want to let go of is all about you, is to write a letter to yourself explaining why it is important to Let Go of whatever you are holding on to. Go the whole distance and mail it to yourself. (No emails here. Writing it out by hand is an important part of the process).

If you want to share, please do. But, it may be uncomfortable to do so depending on how personal “Letting Go” is for you.

PS: If you meditate or have other mindful practices, you may get good results by focusing a session or two on “Letting Go”.

Whatever works!

You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

Check out my Windtree Press author page.

Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

I’m also on Facebook

© 2017 Judith Ashley

Taking Care of Yourself - Your 2017 Word

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

“What is Your 2017 Word?”

Several people I know pick a word to focus on as a theme for themselves for the year. My best friend has done that for years. A blog post I read the morning I wrote these posts, also mentioned it.

My suggestion is to spend quiet time and sort through words that evoke a positive sense of well-being or an eager challenge.

Some ideas are “love” “loyal” “caring” “kind” “compassion” “finish” “complete” “friendship” “honest” “charitable”

I’ll go first! “DO”

In Star Wars, Yoda tells a young Luke Skywalker that there is no Try, only Do. What this means to me is not so much about “doing” but to be clear. Stop and make a conscious or mindful decision. Is this the direction I want to go? Is this an activity I want to participate in? Make a decision and then Do. For me this mean to stop dithering or nattering.

Stop, Decide, Do.

How will your life be different if every day, when you first woke up, you recalled your 2017 word?

Please share!!!

You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

Check out my Windtree Press author page.

Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

I’m also on Facebook

© 2017 Judith Ashley

Taking Care of Yourself in 2017!!!

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nurture the soul.

I don’t know about you, but I do better when I have a theme or focus for myself when I write blog posts. If you read my December posts (you can just scroll down), you’ll see that all my Monday posts were about Peace. And they are updated from my January 2016 posts which were also on Peace.

This January I decided on the theme of “Taking Care of Yourself”.

On this second day of the New Year my question is “What Went Well in 2016?” or “What Happened in 2016 that you most pleased with/proud of?”

Notice I’m only asking you to find something that worked out well. If your life went along like mine, you had some downturns but somewhere during those 365 days, things did go right.

My 2016 list includes

1.      Finishing the last two books in the Original Sacred Women’s Circle series. They are available in e-books and soon will be available in print.

2.      Learning programs that help me connect with readers: ConvertKit, Book Funnel, WeebleyPro, etc.

3.      Taking care of myself physically (no flour, no obvious sugar eating plan), mentally (stop whatever I’m doing when negatively stressed), emotionally (start and end my day in gratitude for what I have and what has happened).

My list is longer but this gives you an idea. Be sure to add something specific about your accomplishment. For example: for taking care of myself physically, I added two specific actions.

Also note that I do not include what went wrong, what I didn’t accomplish, where I fell short. 

While we may bamboozle ourselves by saying we do better when we criticize or chastise or even punish ourselves when we are not successful, I know from personal experience that moving to the “positive” works better. It is a little (or a lot) uncomfortable at first but it can be done.

I’ll be back next Monday with another question for you about “Taking Care of Yourself”.

You can learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

 Check out my Windtree Press author page.

 Follow me on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

 I’m also on Facebook

 © 2017 Judith Ashley