I Like Myself

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

What we’ve covered:

Your Expectations of yourself are positive.

Your Motivation is internal.

Your Image of yourself is congruent with your expectations.

Your Direction has specificity.

Your Control takes the form of personal responsibility for your choices and actions.

Your Discipline includes internal perfect practice.

Self-esteem. When I taught school as well as when I worked with various client groups in social services, self-esteem was something I paid attention to. Some people describe self-esteem as having confidence in oneself. However, I’ve seen confidence become arrogant, domineering behavior. To me that person actually has low self-esteem.

What is another way to look at self-esteem? From my point of view it is simple - I like myself. I see my faults, my rough edges, my idiosyncrasies, those things about me that I’m working to change and I still like who I am, who I’ve become choice by choice, experience by experience over, in my case, decades of life.

Do you?

Do you like yourself?

Do you see how your life experiences, your choices have created the person you are today?

Can you see the triumph?

Can you acknowledge the failures as learning experiences?

Can you trust there is a way to change if that’s what you want to do?

If your answers are “no” to any of the questions, why?

Why don’t you?

What would need to be different in order for you to see the triumphs in your life? To trust you can change if you want to?

One of my favorite people is the late Louise Hay. In her ground-breaking book You Can Heal Your Life Louise shares her own story of healing from an abusive childhood, serious illness, etc. One of her exercises I use to this day is “Mirror Work.”

It’s really very simple:

Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say out loud “I love you.”

You can also vary the statement and say words like

“You are beautiful.” Or

“You are so smart.” Or

“I believe in you.”

It can be uncomfortable at first but stick with it. If you don’t start with “Yes, I know.” because you can barely keep the eye contact, know that in time you will be able to respond in a firm voice, perhaps with a bit of enthusiasm even “Yes, I know.”

Next week? How do I see myself interacting with the world around me?

If you are interested in learning a simple process to find solutions to issues that are interfering with the quality of your life, check out my latest non-fiction book Staying Sane in a Crazy World.

Do you ever feel as if the world around you is tumbling out of control and there is nothing you can do to make your world a better place?

Do you ever wish there was?

Staying Sane in a Crazy World may help guide you toward stopping the tumbling and choosing how to take effective control of your life.

The reality is there is no One answer that fits all but we each have Our answer.

In this short guide, Judith Ashley leads you through a straight-forward process that allows you to find Your answers. Answers you’ll use to craft a Personal Staying Sane Plan that will help you regain and keep your balance whenever the world around you is out-of-whack.

Staying Sane is now available at your favorite e-retailer.

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

© 2018 Judith Ashley

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year!!!

May your 2018 be a year full of love, laughter, joy, health and happiness.

May your days be filled with inspiration and gratitude.

May your dreams become your reality.

I’ll be making changes to this blog and my website during 2018 so stay tuned!

During the first quarter of 2018, my plan is to publish “Visions of Happiness” a spin-off of “Lily: The Dragon and The Great Horned Owl” the first book in The Sacred Women’s Circle series.

I’ve also written a non-fiction book “Staying Sane in a Crazy World.” It still needs some work and a cover, etc. but it is doable to have this book also published in the first quarter.

Last but not least I will start another non-fiction book “Love, Power, Fun and Freedom: How To Get More.” In the early 1980’s, I created a workshop based on my training and work with The William Glasser Institute. This book is an updated version of that program. I don’t know that it will be published in the first quarter but my plan is to have the first draft completed.

Sign up here to be on my mailing list. I do not spam or inundate you with ‘buy my books’ but I will share with you my progress and updates in other areas of my life.

In love and light,

Judith

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

Self-Acceptance is First

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

For this next post we’ll take a look at our own self-acceptance rating. I come from the belief that we can best help others by taking care of ourselves. This has not always been how I’ve viewed the world. But then thoughts such as this one popped up.

When you are sick with some bug, how well can you take care of someone else? If you are me, not as good as I am when I’m well.

Extrapolate that thinking and you come up with the concept that in order to be at your best in helping others, you must be your best.

I’ve made progress in this past several years. And here is a classic example:

In February 2011 when Sarah Raplee and I came up with the idea for a group blog—Romancing The Genres (Check us out!) I was a fast typist on the computer. I could write reports, emails and I had completed the first three books in the Sacred Women’s Circle series. Of the two of us, Sarah was the techie. She fearlessly clicked the “Help” button on Blogger for help. I hesitated to search on the internet for anything much less click into the vast unknown.

It's a bit blurry but this is Sarah and me at our first book signing!

Saturday night Sarah and I were on the phone talking about, if I purchase a used Mac so I can learn and put my books on Vellum, oh and there was a discussion about using the ‘macincloud’. I’d actually searched for the Vellum site and then read several responses on a site dedicated on how best to use Vellum.

Am I fearless when it comes to clicking around the world-wide web? No, I still have my moments. But, I am cautious, not terrified I’ll do something wrong and my computer will blow up. (I see some of you laughing!)

How did I shift from fear to caution and from ‘knowing’ I can’t to believing I can learn new techie things?

I changed how I saw myself.

I went from ‘conditional acceptance’ to unconditional acceptance that I am an intelligent woman and have the capacity (mental, emotional and physical) to learn new things.

Did it happen overnight? Absolutely not.

And I do consider that if I believed it could change overnight, it would or it would change more rapidly? Yes I do. I’m an unconditional-acceptance- work-in-progress.

If you believe, you can succeed

Your assignment if you wish to continue on this journey to unconditional acceptance with me is this:

Pick one aspect of yourself you’d like to see in a positive light. 

Write out in present tense what this aspect is as if it already exists. Now look at specific thoughts and actions you can take to stay on this path.

Notice mine is “I easily and effortlessly learn (present tense) new software. I could be more specific and say ‘Vellum’. I could leave it there. I can also add why. The added value to me in this project. "I easily and effortlessly learn Vellum so I am more efficient and effective in publishing my books."

You can decide if adding the value of the project is important to your moving forward on the path to unconditional acceptance. 

My action steps or plan include: seeking input from others about where to purchase a used Mac; use my Microsoft One Drive more consistently to improve my experience in using The Cloud so I can better determine which option is better for me; remind myself when (notice I’m not using ‘if’) I feel frustrated that I’m intelligent and can learn this; regroup/resume and go forth again.

Check back in next Monday for another post on Unconditional Acceptance.

Your free copy of Lily: The Dragon and The Great Horned Owl is waiting for you.

Go to JudithAshleyRomance.com and sign up for my occasional newsletter “Connections.” Follow the prompts to download your own digital copy of the first book in The Sacred Women’s Circle series.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

The Power of Reflection

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

My journey includes figuring out how to talk to people about my books. The Sacred Women’s Circle series has a strong spiritual element to each of the books and the heat level (sensual, sexual scenes) varies dramatically.

Add to that I was raised with the admonishment that talking about one’s self isn’t attractive, tooting your own horn is vulgar, etc.

Oh, and pricing? That has been a gigantic hurdle to overcome.

But I’ve been working on these cultural barriers.

While at the Desert Dreams Writers’ Conference I figured out how to talk about my books in a different way.

In preparing for the day long “Readers’ Experience” I worked with Paul Iarrobino at True Path Consulting NW. After brainstorming ideas and some time to reflect, I decided on the following question.

What would it be like to be in a place where you were unconditionally accepted, unconditionally supported and unconditionally loved?

Take a minute and seriously consider this question.

When I asked this question of readers at the Reader Experience Event, I watched as they went within, their eyes drifted closed, their gaze became unfocused, some even sighed. What did they say?

“I’d be dead.”

“Heaven.”

Or a combination of the two.

Struck by the reality that none of the people said “Oh, I have that XXX,” I initially was shocked.

How different would our lives be if we had that place of safety? That haven where we are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. I will admit it is not in my life 24/7 but I have been places and experienced the profound sense of love and safety that comes from being in a sacred space.

Upon reflection I also realized another truth.

There are sacred women’s circles and there are women’s circles. In both women come together and engage in spiritual practices.

What’s the difference?

In a sacred women’s circle there is unconditional acceptance, unconditional support and unconditional love. And that is the foundation for The Circle, the sacred women’s circle these seven women create.

If you start with Lily: The Dragon and The Great Horned Owl and read each book, when you finish the series you’ll have the framework for creating your own sacred women’s circle. You’ll have prayers, ideas for altars, information about the Eight Sabbats or pagan high holy days. You’ll see how having a strong spiritual practice and a sacred women’s circle supports each of these women as they face the real life challenges that are part and parcel of our daily lives.

I’d love to hear your comments about unconditional acceptance, support and love.

Please share where, if any, you have these places in your life. And, equally important, if you don’t, what would your life be like if you did?

Check back next week to learn more about the women in The Circle.

Sign up for Connections, my newsletter, and download a free e-copy of Lily.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

Learning On Many Levels - Alternatives

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance. 

Not only do I believe in signs and intuition, I believe somewhere inside me I do know the answer to problems I’m confronting. What I also believe (actually know is true) is that there are answers to problems I have that don’t like.

We always have choices. To do nothing is a choice. To complain is a choice. And it isn’t unusual to do one or both (although I do see complaining as ‘doing something’) because we don’t like the action options or choices we see. The world would be a very different place if the choices before us were always presented in ways that gave us an easy choice. Something we like versus something we don’t like.

However life does not usually do that (my experience). We have choices where we pick the least objectionable, least restrictive, least favorable instead of what we’d really like to do because that choice isn’t on the table.

So, back to me and how I make choices, find solutions ‘outside the box’.

If you’ve read Diana the third book in my Sacred Women’s Circle series, you’ll know she used a Tarot deck to make decisions. (Check out the cover and you'll see an overlay of Tarot cards).

There are times I do use a Tarot deck myself. And while I was at the conference I had a Tarot reading with Deborah Wellborn, the Sunshine Psychic. In her reading I learned that I needed to clean up the ‘stuff’ in my life (my friend’s tangled mess) in order to have my own joy and happiness.

I also checked my Messenger Oracle deck by Ravynne Phelan and drew cards whose messages supported my Tarot reading. I also purchased a couple of new decks and had similar ‘readings’ from them. One even gave me an exercise to do to move me in the right direction.

While visiting my friend, Lois, we had numerous conversations about The Dalai Lama and wise compassion and other Buddhist beliefs. I overlay my challenges with my friend over those constructs to see directions I could take that were different than the path I’d been on.

In the meantime, just being away from the daily deluge of issues gave me time and space to step back and see how I’d been part of my own problem, to take stock of my own values and beliefs.

So, when near the end of my time in Arizona Deborah interpreted my Natal Chart (my first) and I looked at my 2016 chart and how congested it was in a particular place, I easily saw all signs were pointing to my doing something different in order to gain my own balance and peace of mind.

By the time I sat down with my friend and his attorney a couple of days after my return, I was clear about what I could and would do and what I would no longer do.

Of course now I’m in the position of staying the course and not veering back to old ways of handling my friend’s problems. But in the end, it is a win-win for both of us. 

We’ve been friends for almost 37 years…not something I want to throw away. And I do have a life of my own and have reclaimed it—well, to be honest that is a work in progress. I’m making headway and am catching up on those things (like writing), that got shoved aside over the past 5+ months.

What do you do to find solutions to problems that your everyday process doesn’t handle? I’m always looking for new ideas so please share!

Sign up for Connections, my newsletter, and download a freee-copy of Lily.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

Sacred Women's Circles Create Sacred Space - Part One

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

When you read this post, I’ll be in Scottsdale, AZ to attend the Desert Dreams Writer’s Conference. I’m excited to be one of the workshop presenters. “Supporting Your Writing Life: How to Find Balance Between Your “Real” Life and Your “Writing” Life” is one of my favorite workshops. I love seeing participants find ways to write without feeling guilty about what they aren’t doing. The truth is the vast majority of authors do not write full time or live a monastic life. They have day jobs, families including spouses, children, sibling and parents. And what about friends?

I’m also one of 17 authors participating in the Readers’ Day Event. Tickets maystill be available so check out this link. I’d love to see you there!!! Readers will meet each of the 17 authors in a two minute ‘speed dating’. They’ll then have the opportunity to spend thirty minutes with authors to get to know them better. Participants attending my Book Club will leave with their own sacred bundle!

And that’s a great segue into the topic of this blog:

Sacred Women’s Circle Create Sacred Space.

Pause here for a few seconds and consider the following questions:

What would it be like to be unconditionally accepted, unconditionally supported and unconditionally loved?

Would you feel safe?

Would you feel you could say anything? Talk about your innermost thoughts and feelings? Share your most intimate secrets if you wanted to?

A Sacred Women’s Circle creates the space where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. You do not have to share but you can. And if you choose to share, you know with a certainty that all that you say will be held in confidence and you will not be judged.

No matter what.

In 1993 I sat for the first time in a women’s circle. And, I’ve been a part of one ever since. One person from my very first circle is in my current one. I will not prevaricate and say they’ve all been sacred women’s circles because that is not the case. I will say that my current circle is a Sacred Women’s Circle because I know that I can call on any member and she will show up however I need it to happen. And they know they can call on me.

While I’ve not shared every one of my secrets, I know I could and I’d still be accepted, supported and loved. We call ourselves The One and there are four of us. The connection is strong and even though there is, at times, an ebb and flow of physical connection, the energetic connection remains tying us together.

What would it be like if you had a Sacred Women’s Circle, a place where you were unconditionally accepted, supported and loved? Or maybe you already have such a place?

I’ve love to know more!

Please leave a comment. I do want to know what you think.

Signup for Connections, my newsletter, and download a free e-copy of Lily.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

Follow Judith on Twitter:@JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

Beltane

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

May 01, 2017 - Beltane

Today marks another turn in the Wheel of the Year.

Beltane is on the opposite side of the year from Samhain. These two Holy Days have much in common. The time when the veils between the worlds are the thinnest. The time that symbolizes the end of Winter and the beginning of Summer.

When I was growing up, I remember in elementary school we danced around the May Pole, weaving brightly colored, intricate patterns with long ribbons of varying colors. And, we made May Baskets, filled them with flowers and hung them on the doorknobs of neighbor’s homes.

From this vantage point, I’m fairly sure that, at the time, people did not connect these spring activities as pagan or even coming from pagan traditions. They were fun activities that herald spring’s flowers and warmer days and were a continuation of what had been done for generations before ours.

Beltane is also about fertility. At that point in our history when we were hunter/gatherers and then farmers, we relied on our understanding of the seasons to survive.

In our modern times, we can still use Beltane to stoke the fires of our fertile imagination, our creativity. I write. I’ve friends who bead, paint and sew. Other people I know create in other ways. Following the traditions of earth-based spirituality, the winter when it is dark and cold is the time for reflection. When the sun comes out and it is warmer, it is now time to create or to manifest the seeds we sowed in the dark.

My creative juices have begun to flow again as I write new words and continue to refine my Readers’ DayBook Club event during the Desert Dreams Readers’ Day in Scottsdale, AZ on June3rd. 

If you are in the area, plan on spending the day with authors. I’d love to meet you and have you join me to learn more about sacred space and the spiritual foundation of my Sacred Women’ Circle series.

Now that the days are longer, what is it that you want to manifest from your reflections during the dark days?

Sign up for Connections, my newsletter, and download a free e-copy of Lily.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on my website.

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

My Favorite Family and Friends!

Judith is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrates the journey from relationship to romance.

I've been bless to have a circle of good friends. Here I am with a few of them!

Judith with Gimi and Connie. We talk each week and support each other in manifesting our Intentions

Diana McCollum, Sarah Raplee and Judith: co authors of Love and Magick

Lois is my First Reader

My neighbor, Juanita, is a passionate volunteer with at risk youth

Judith with some of her Glasser Family

Something else that brings me joy are children. I worked in domestic and international adoption for a few months shy of 30 years. I also was a child protective service worker, an immensely gratifying position. In particular I take great pleasure engaging with little ones in the grocery store checkout line.

Colleagues from my child welfare days. Gabriella is dedicated to them.

When I was in the 8^th grade I had a pen pal in Japan. We shared our hopes and dreams for our futures. (Remember this was in the mid-1950’s so my dreams were limited to wife/mother, nurse, teacher or secretary). I came across one of my letters (I always copied what I wrote her) a few years back. There it was in black and white albeit somewhat faded. I wanted to have 9 children (8 boys and 1 girl)!!! I even had names for everyone!!!

Judith with her granddaughters at her youngest's 8th grade promotion!

Judith, both her granddaughters and her great granddaughter

The Universe was merciful and I had one child, my son. He had two daughters, my granddaughters. The youngest granddaughter has two children—almost two and newborn.

Where I am in my life now, I remain grateful that I only had one child. Raising him as a single mom had its challenges. I won’t bore you with the details suffice it to say I have great respect for single moms everywhere. In fact, Hunter is dedicated to single mothers!!!

Also Lily is a single parents. And, even though Diana and Ashley are married, their husbands are not involved fathers.

Which is worse, knowing you are a single parent or parenting alone because your husband, the father of your children is emotionally and often physically absent?

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle series on her website.

Follow Judith on Twitter: @JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB!

© 2017 Judith Ashley